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MUGABE DEMANDS 5000 GAZILLION DOLLAR PENSION

PRESIDENT Robert Mugabe has agreed to resign in exchange for a pension of 5000 gazillion Zimbabwean dollars a year.
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HYBRID EMBRYO ESCAPES FROM NORTH EAST LAB

BRITAIN'S first hybrid embryo was on the the run last night after escaping from its laboratory cage.
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THEM FOREIGNERS IS A RIGHT BUNCH, SAY ANGRY OLD MEN

THEM foreigners who come over here, taking our jobs and sticking their knobs in our lovely young poppets is ruining Britain, according to a major report by a committee of old men.
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Opinion

MY BIG GAP YEAR

Dispatches from Poppy Spalding

MONDAY: BANGKOK

LAST week, I had meant to go to Cambodia to further my investigations into Gary Glitter, but reconsidered after reading on My Space that DJ Rico was playing practically a stone’s throw from my hostel in Hanoi this weekend: Saturday night at the Lotus in Bangkok.  Coincidence? I think not.
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