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MONOCLE GREASE AND PENNY FARTHING OIL REMOVED FROM INFLATION BASKET

TYPICAL household goods including monocle grease and penny farthing oil have been removed from the basket of items used to measure inflation.
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HEATHER MILLS TO STRANGLE A BADGER

HEATHER Mills last night celebrated her divorce from Britain's most successful jingle composer by pledging to throttle a series of woodland creatures.
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MAJORITY OF IRAQIS EXPECT TO STILL BE ALIVE BY LUNCHTIME

THE number of Iraqis expecting to still be alive by lunchtime has risen to an all-time high, an upbeat new survey shows.
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Opinion

MY BIG GAP YEAR

Dispatches from Poppy Spalding

MONDAY: BANGKOK

LAST week, I had meant to go to Cambodia to further my investigations into Gary Glitter, but reconsidered after reading on My Space that DJ Rico was playing practically a stone’s throw from my hostel in Hanoi this weekend: Saturday night at the Lotus in Bangkok.  Coincidence? I think not.
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