The Daily Mash

News

MINISTER TELLS MIDDLE CLASSES: BUY A BONG

MIDDLE class people looking to get "off their tits" should give up wine and smoke drugs "like everyone else", health minister Caroline Flint said last night.
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CHANNEL 4 TO SHOW QUEEN MOTHER EATING A GIGANTIC SAUSAGE

CHANNEL 4 is to follow up its controversial Diana documentary with footage of the Queen Mother eating an absolutely gigantic sausage.
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MINISTERS PROPOSE 'ALF GARNETT DAY'

A NATIONAL holiday to celebrate the traditional British mistrust of foreigners is being proposed by the government.
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Opinion

ONE WOMAN'S WEEK: FIGHTING THE FAT

By Karen Fenessey

I really believe it’s a wonderful thing that I can look around our British streets and see so many different walks of life being not only tolerated, but encouraged. The whites walk alongside the blacks, the rich with the poor, and the gays with the normal.

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