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THE BBC will give up as of midnight tonight, the director general Mark Thompson has confirmed.
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IT'S THE BEHEADINGS I MISS THE MOST, SAYS HOMESICK SAUDI KING

KING Abdullah of Saudi Arabia has revealed that he hates to travel because he misses the daily beheadings in the courtyard of his solid gold palace.
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OIL PRICE RISE CAUSED BY PIXIES

THE global surge in the price of oil has been blamed on pixies, sprites and their gang of magical woodland friends.
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MY BIG GAP YEAR

Dispatches from Poppy Spalding Friday: Beijing This week finds me in the capital of China – somewhere I have dreamed of coming ever since the age of five when my parents bought me my first round of banana fritters.
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