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BLAIR TO HAND OVER SOUL AT 3PM TODAY

TONY Blair will today bring to a close his ten-year term as Prime Minister by delivering his Soul to the Devil and all his minions.

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PETE DOHERTY ACCUSES BASSEY OF "JOINT BOGARTING"
DAME Shirley Bassey may have been a big hit with the Glastonbury crowd but she proved much less popular backstage after refusing to share her drugs with her fellow artistes, The Daily Mash can reveal.
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BUSH GIVES BLAIR LEAD ROLE IN JUG BAND

TONY Blair and George Bush are set to invade the music charts after forming a hillbilly jug band.

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Opinion

MY BIG GAP YEAR

Despatches from Poppy Spalding

Monday: Sydney, Australia

My first week on the road finds me in Sydney, which is a bit like London, only with more sun and fewer Australians.

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