The Daily Mash

News

MUGABE DEMANDS 5000 GAZILLION DOLLAR PENSION

PRESIDENT Robert Mugabe has agreed to resign in exchange for a pension of 5000 gazillion Zimbabwean dollars a year.
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HYBRID EMBRYO ESCAPES FROM NORTH EAST LAB

BRITAIN'S first hybrid embryo was on the the run last night after escaping from its laboratory cage.
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THEM FOREIGNERS IS A RIGHT BUNCH, SAY ANGRY OLD MEN

THEM foreigners who come over here, taking our jobs and sticking their knobs in our lovely young poppets is ruining Britain, according to a major report by a committee of old men.
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Opinion

ONE WOMAN'S WEEK: FIGHTING THE FAT

By Karen Fenessey

I really believe it’s a wonderful thing that I can look around our British streets and see so many different walks of life being not only tolerated, but encouraged. The whites walk alongside the blacks, the rich with the poor, and the gays with the normal.

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