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BROWN VOWS TO END Wii POSTCODE LOTTERY

GORDON Brown has taken personal charge of the escalating Nintendo Wii crisis which could force millions of British children to play outdoors with real friends this Christmas.
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FLAPPING YOUR GUMS ALL DAY IS NOT EXERCISE, WOMEN TOLD

EXERCISE rates among women have plummeted after doctors said talking and talking and talking all bloody day no longer counts.
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WINEHOUSE HUSBAND DEMANDS DEATH PENALTY

THE husband of singer Amy Winehouse is demanding to be executed in a last ditch attempt to avoid another moment in his wife’s company.
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Opinion

MY BIG GAP YEAR

Dispatches from Poppy Spalding

MONDAY: BANGKOK

LAST week, I had meant to go to Cambodia to further my investigations into Gary Glitter, but reconsidered after reading on My Space that DJ Rico was playing practically a stone’s throw from my hostel in Hanoi this weekend: Saturday night at the Lotus in Bangkok.  Coincidence? I think not.
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