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SUPERMAN SUIT WILL ENABLE WEARER TO SEE WOMEN'S UNDIES

SCIENTISTS could one day develop a 'Superman' suit that will give the wearer x-ray vision, allowing him to look at women's underwear through their clothes.
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JAM, THE FUEL OF TOMORROW, SAY LIB DEMS

THE Liberal Democrats have unveiled radical plans to reduce Britain's carbon emissions, including a new generation of cars that unleash the remarkable power of jam.
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AMY WINEHOUSE A HONKING SKANK, SAYS GRAN

AMY Winehouse fans should stop buying her records because she is a croaky voiced skank who sounds like a goose being forced arse first into a trombone, her grandmother said last night.
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Opinion

MY BIG GAP YEAR

Dispatches from Poppy Spalding

MONDAY: BANGKOK

LAST week, I had meant to go to Cambodia to further my investigations into Gary Glitter, but reconsidered after reading on My Space that DJ Rico was playing practically a stone’s throw from my hostel in Hanoi this weekend: Saturday night at the Lotus in Bangkok.  Coincidence? I think not.
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