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EXOTIC JAPANESE GIRLFRIEND WANTS VAUXHALL ZAFIRA

AROUND 63% of exotic Japanese girlfriends wear old socks in bed and insist their boyfriends buy a Vauxhall Zafira or Ford Focus C-Max, new research shows. 
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MUGABE MUST GO, SAY RICKY AND BIANCA

ROBERT Mugabe no longer commands the support of the Zimbabwean people and must resign from office, Ricky and Bianca said last night.
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BANKS USE MAN-EATING TIGERS TO DETER NEW BORROWERS

BRITAIN'S leading mortgage lenders are to deter new customers with a range of tactics including man-eating tigers and a huge Arab warrior armed with a mighty sword.
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Opinion

'I WAS THERE'

Christopher Walken remembers the 1982 World Snooker Championships

DIDDLY-dee! diddily-dee! That’s the sound the wheels on a train make – diddly-dee! diddly-dee! I hate that noise, I hate it almost as much as I do Adam Sandler movies, so I pulled the emergency chord above my head, bringing the 12.57 from King’s Cross to Sheffield, shuddering to a halt.
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