News

Woman who keeps voting Tory can't work out why public services are shit

A WOMAN who keeps voting for Conservative governments cannot understand why her local services are terrible.

Bovis homes turning up in TK Maxx

A NUMBER of Bovis houses have appeared on shelves at TK Maxx after recent damage to the brand.

Dalai Lama claims indifference to getting 50k likes for last status update

THE Dalai Lama has claimed that he is not bothered about getting 50,000 ‘Likes' for his last Facebook post.

Woman cannot be arsed to have a baby

A WOMAN has decided against having children because it is loads of hassle.

Millions of Britons 'complacent about their drinking ability'

MANY Britons wrongly assume they can still drink as much as they used to, it has emerged.

Man has amazing ability to know all new music is shit without listening to it

A MAN instinctively knows that all music made since about 2002 is shit without even having to hear it, he has revealed.

NHS told to stop splashing out on fancy operations

THE NHS must stop frittering money on fancy operations with all the latest equipment and drugs, ministers have claimed.

Charities appeal for more annoying bastards to hassle you in the street

THE numbers of incredibly irritating people who are prepared to be 'chuggers' is dangerously low, charities have warned.