News
Goonies awful, say experts
FILM researchers have discovered that The Goonies is actually dreadful.
Internet addicts could be weaned onto drugs
BRITAIN'S millions of internet addicts could be weaned onto less damaging drugs like LSD and ecstasy.
Parents threaten children with Eddie Mair
PARENTS have told children who misbehave that they will have to answer to Eddie Mair.
Kate ‘usually mashed’
THE Duchess of Cambridge gets through tedious public engagements with a cocktail of illegal drugs, it has emerged.
More ambulances used for hipster art than conveying sick people
EMERGENCY calls are going unanswered as hipsters pressure the NHS to decommission ambulances for their art projects.
Pope insists foot kissing 'not gay'
THERE is nothing gay about gently washing another man's feet and then giving them a kiss, the Pope has confirmed.
Britain's Olympic spirit preserved in a rat
THE dregs of Britain's Olympic spirit are to be kept alive in a rat.