News

Puppy going to f**k you up

A NEW puppy is absolutely not play-fighting, it has been revealed.

Man's mates confused by claim he has married his 'best friend'

A MAN’S actual mates have been left confused after he said his new wife is his best friend.  

Ed Sheeran's arm breaks itself

ED SHEERAN'S right arm has broken itself in a desperate attempt to save the world from his music.

Children 'cancel out' effects of alcohol

BEING around children makes you feel less drunk, it has been confirmed.

Britain secures trade deal with mysterious country no-one's heard of

TRADE secretary Liam Fox has negotiated a superb trade deal with the previously unknown country of Mungotania, he has claimed.

Buddhist has no idea what it is

A MAN who is into Buddhism has incredible difficulty explaining what it is, people have noticed.

Trees ordered to pick all that shit up

TREES have been told to immediately pick up all the leaves they have dumped everywhere or face the consequences. 

Britain hit by Instagram filter

THE UK’s sky was hacked with a rogue Instagram filter, the MOD has confirmed.