MODERN Easter eggs are barely two disappointing mouthfuls, adults have complained.
THE recent sunny weather has lead to a sharp increase in dickheads going to the park.
A MAN who works in a high level city job and gets four hours sleep a night considers his life a success.
BEING able to get legitimately drunk at 7am is the best part of going abroad, it has been confirmed.
A MAN thinks he deserves recognition and respect for not being an obvious misogynist.
SEVERAL middle-aged friends are regretting buying tickets to a festival this summer.
NOBODY at John Lewis knows what its long-standing slogan is supposed to mean, it has been confirmed.
THE Daily Mail has been ordered to pay damages to readers for exposing them to decades of demented tripe.
- Easter weekend looking like being a real pain in the arse
- Bank of Mum and Dad bailed out by Bank of Nan and Grandad
- Middle class parents concerned about lack of dark chocolate Easter eggs
- Ryanair passenger hopeful he might get aggressively dragged off
- HMRC website either hacked by Russia or just really shit