GOD has confirmed that people who use the term ‘Fri-yay’ to celebrate the end of the working week will face the most severe eternal judgement.
GCHQ HAS confirmed that Donald Trump’s private communications are nothing but the same meaningless bollocks he says in public.
THERESA May is betting the future of the UK on a gigantic wild guess about how Scottish people react to things.
A WOMAN has clicked ’not now’ on her automatic software update for the 500th consecutive day.
A MAN who loves humorous ‘bad taste’ birthday cards believed one would be appropriate for his 80-year-old grandmother.
A MARITAL argument has turned unexpectedly ugly after a man told his wife she was “like fucking Brexit.”
A TWO-year-old has confirmed that her magic unicorn birthday party was a bit much.
A BRITISH man is baffled by the idea that people who come from different cultures do things differently to him.
- Devil regrets making deal with Ed Sheeran
- Be a good little country and try some Brexit, May tells Scotland
- Middle class children exposed to dangerous levels of sourdough
- Brexiter who talks about ‘sunlit uplands’ reminded he sounds like a psychopath
- Man who is not pedantic about tea 'should just go and live in Europe'