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Friday, 24 May 2013
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News

Apprentice contestants fail 'don't be twats' challenge

Festivalgoers rebelling against self-esteem

PERSONAL dignity is now the top thing to rebel against at music festivals.

Primark bans attractive people

BUDGET clothing giant Primark has banned good-looking people from its shops.

Dogs asked to reason with burglars

Gun enthusiasts 3D-print a functioning Charlton Heston

Journalist to give up writing gimmicky bullshit features for a month

A JOURNALIST is to spend a month not writing features about giving things up for a fixed period of time.

Beer gardens not actually gardens

A CONCRETE area attached to a pub is not a garden, it has been claimed.

Timebombs surprisingly dull

  • Ex-pope still hanging around Vatican annoying everyone
  • 'I will show mercy when we seize power', UKIP members tell workmates
  • Slow computers just laid back
  • I am just dreadful, admits Paltrow
  • World War Z apparently about jogging
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