News

Racist grandpa branches out into sexism

A RACIST grandfather has added casual misogyny to his repertoire, family members have confirmed.

Right-wing fury as Peace Prize goes to campaign to stop everyone being killed

RIGHT-wingers are furious after an organisation that wants to prevent cataclysmic violent death was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.

Liam Gallagher’s brilliant career marred by his albums

EX-OASIS vocalist Liam Gallagher has sadly spoiled the great joy he brings to the world by insisting on making a record.

TV shows ordered to end properly

DRAMATIC TV shows must have proper conclusions that resolve everything and stop this ambiguous nonsense, Ofcom has ruled.

Millennials drinking less than their parents did because pints aren't 40p

BRITONS born between 1984 and 2000 drink less alcohol than previous generations because it costs more than a fiver to get shitfaced, research has found.

Commuter finally snaps and starts pretending to be a train

A COMMUTER has finally snapped after years of rail strikes and now believes he is a train.

Greedy, aspirational parents make token noises to child about sharing

A PAIR of corporate lawyers are secretly delighted that their son has ignored everything they tell him about sharing his toys.

Kind, concerned woman constantly telling friends they look hellish

A KIND, concerned woman spends most of her time telling her friends how tired and shit they look.