News

Old lady in supermarket’s reduced section will drop you for 6p pack of sausage rolls

AN 87-YEAR-OLD in Tesco’s reduced section will end you if you get between her and a 6p pack of sausage rolls, she has asserted.

Last adult onesie destroyed in controlled explosion

THE last remaining all-in-one adult garment in the UK has been blown to smithereens in front of a cheering crowd.

Boss’s claim ‘we’re all mad here’ actually a cry for help

A BOSS who claimed in a job interview that everyone in his office was crazy was desperately asking for help, a new employee has discovered.

Swindon ‘just like Harry Potter’, say American tourists

A GROUP of American tourists claims everything they have seen in Swindon is magical like the world of Harry Potter.

Badass warns off neighbours with aggressive wi-fi name

A MAN has let neighbours know he is not to be trifled with by giving his home internet a needlessly aggressive name.

New app alerts users when their ex is nearby

AN APP that alerts users when their ex is nearby has received glowing reviews.

Scientists baffled by lifelong smoker who still can't make decent rollie

SCIENTISTS are baffled by a man who has been smoking for over 40 years but still can't make a roll-up that doesn't look like a dog's hind leg.

Self-employed builder just glad he's cash only

A SELF-EMPLOYED builder would face a significant tax increase if he didn’t always ask customers for cash.