AN 87-YEAR-OLD in Tesco’s reduced section will end you if you get between her and a 6p pack of sausage rolls, she has asserted.
THE last remaining all-in-one adult garment in the UK has been blown to smithereens in front of a cheering crowd.
A BOSS who claimed in a job interview that everyone in his office was crazy was desperately asking for help, a new employee has discovered.
A GROUP of American tourists claims everything they have seen in Swindon is magical like the world of Harry Potter.
A MAN has let neighbours know he is not to be trifled with by giving his home internet a needlessly aggressive name.
AN APP that alerts users when their ex is nearby has received glowing reviews.
SCIENTISTS are baffled by a man who has been smoking for over 40 years but still can't make a roll-up that doesn't look like a dog's hind leg.
A SELF-EMPLOYED builder would face a significant tax increase if he didn’t always ask customers for cash.
- Average family pissed off with everyone asking what the budget means for them
- International Women's Day celebrated by brands that hate women
- Lazy slacker scumbag only working hours specified in his contract
- Corbyn not governed by physical laws of our universe, supporters tell Hawking
- Jaguar drivers distracted from road by thinking about how amazing they are