News

Family keeps congratulating itself on Facebook for some reason

MEMBERS of a family keep giving each other praise for basically just existing.

F**k off, you're not invited anymore, UK tells Trump

BRITAIN has withdrawn Donald Trump's invitation to visit and never really wanted him to come in the first place.

Couple's attempt to invent pet names for each other a collosal f**k up

A NEW couple have experimented with quirky pet names for each other that are absolutely dreadful.

Scotland to have second referendum anyway 'because it’s full of awkward bastards'

SCOTLAND will probably have another independence referendum because of its high percentage of difficult bastards, it has emerged.

First chip eaten while still insanely hot

THE first sizzling hot chip on a plate has been eaten within seconds of arriving at the table, ruining the rest of the meal.

Brexit to take 250 years

BRITAIN’s exit from the European Union is now on course to be completed by the middle of the 23rd Century.

Britain to continue in normal state of ridiculous incompetence

BRITONS are relieved to discover that life will continue in its everyday state of raging incompetence and chaos.

Parents being weirdly nice to 16-24 year olds

PARENTS of young adults across Britain have been acting sheepishly this week, it has been confirmed.