News

Middle-aged men reminisce about all the drugs they used to take

A GROUP of middle-aged dads are to spend an evening remembering just how off their tits they got in their younger years.

Anywhere without ‘No Fly Tipping’ signs fine for fly-tipping

ANY lay-by, alleyway or domestic garden that does not display a ‘No Fly Tipping’ sign is open for fly-tipping, local authorities have confirmed.

Trump and Putin have first marital row

DONALD Trump and Vladimir Putin have had the first nasty row of their until-now harmonious relationship.

If you run away from our missiles you’re a terrorist, says US

ANYONE fleeing Syria because of US airstrikes is not a refugee but a terrorist, the US has confirmed.

7,000 miles to meet a f**king idiot, thinks Chinese premier

CHINA'S leader has been reflecting on why he must travel so far to meet a moron.

Families taking term-time holidays face not being able to show off about it

FAMILIES who take term-time holidays risk a fine if they show off about it on social media, it has been confirmed.

This is the only real home I've ever known, tearful Farage tells EU parliament

A SOBBING Nigel Farage has told his fellow MEPs that they are his truest friends and leaving them will be the greatest sorrow of his life.

Man in favour of pre-decimal currency too thick to use it

A MAN who wants to return to pre-decimal currency after Brexit is too thick to understand the confusing system, it has emerged.