THOUSANDS of really ordinary people like you queued around the block last night to get their hands on the must-have fashion accessory of our time: the Anya Hindmarch designed Daily Mash eco-shopping bag.
ARMY chiefs are reviewing their decision to send Prince Harry to Iraq and are now expected to send the Royal soldier to Ascot instead.
SCOTTISH councils are planning to shift from weekly refuse collections to never because householders keep on filling their bins with dirty rubbish.
THE world's leading record companies have joined forces to call for a ban on whistling, claiming it is an infringement of copyright.
A LEADING Scots hairdresser has opened a portal to the underworld in his Glasgow salon to satisfy the growing demand for paranormal coiffeuring.
PARENTS who allow their teenage sons to masturbate at home should face jail, a leading charity says.
TEENAGE boys across the country were applauding the Liberal Democrats last night after they pledged to introduce Scandinavian teaching methods to the Scottish education system.