News

Syria Outsources Evil Plotting To North Korea

SYRIA is to outsource its evil plotting to North Korea in a £3 billion deal to create the world's biggest terror brand.

Banks Fucked

BANKS in the UK were fucked yesterday, after a landmark court ruling.

One In Four Teens Pretending To Be Depressed

ONE in four teenagers is in a really bad place right now which is making them, like, incredibly sad and stuff, a new study reveals. 

New Uniform Will Turn My Life Around, Says Tearful Mcdonald's Worker

A NEW designer uniform is going to generate the most amazing improvement in overall quality of life, grateful McDonald's workers said last night. 

System No Longer Works, Confirms UN

THE socio-economic system which has governed much of the globe for over a century finally stopped working at around 9pm last night, the United Nations has confirmed.

Eating Special 'K' Linked To Girly Boys

WOMEN who eat Special 'K' around the time of conception are more likely to have a boy, but it will be a girly boy, according to new research.

Carla Bruni To Be The New Face Of Ginsters

CARLA Bruni, the incredibly hot wife of French President Nicolas Sarkozy, is to be the new face of Ginsters savoury treats.

Elvis Tried To Eat My Mum, Claims Tommy Steele

ELVIS Presley made a secret visit to Britain during which he tried to eat the elderly mother of British singing star Tommy Steele, it was revealed last night.