News

Is It Ethical To Burgle A House If It Belongs To Ben Fogle?

BEN Fogle has foiled an attempted burglary at his home, re-igniting the debate over what you can and cannot do to the TV presenter.

Chief Medical Officer Talking Shit Again

SIR Liam Donaldson, England's chief medical officer, was last night talking shit again.

London sacrifices virgins after light dusting of snow

SOCIAL order crumbled amid mass executions of sacrificial virgins as London was battered with a light dusting of snow.

Sneering at council estate Christmas lights is number one festive pastime

SNEERING at council house Christmas lights has overtaken fake cheerfulness to become Britain's favourite festive pastime, according to a new survey.

Twiggy Is 300 Years Old, Admits Oil Of Olay

TWIGGY is a 300 year-old Bulgarian woman, Oil of Olay admitted last night.

1,000 Years Of Cliff Richard, Warn Scientists

SIR Cliff Richard could survive well into the next ice age, according to new research.

Cowell Makes Olly Wear Joe's Lovely Skin

SIMON Cowell has removed X Factor winner Joe McElderry's skin and stitched Olly Murs into it to create a perfect hybrid of looks and likeability.

I Do Not Love The Ginger Ones, Says Santa

SANTA Claus last night condemned ginger haired children, insisting they freak him out and will never be welcome at the North Pole.