Cannabis Now Worse Than The Nazis

CANNABIS is now more evil than the Nazis and smoking the drug is worse for the brain than watching Richard Madeley on television, new research suggests.

Sitting Causes Arse Cancer, Say Docs

SITTING down dramatically increases the risk of arse cancer and should be regulated under strict new laws, doctors decided last night. 

Biblical Toys To Include Gay Action Figure And A Bag Of Small Stones

THE makers of the faith-based toys taking America by storm are to produce a gay action figure that children can 'stone to death' in accordance with scripture.

Property Value More Important Than My Kids, Say 92% Of Homeowners

HOMEOWNERS in the UK are more interested in the value of their house than in the fate of their own children, according to a new survey.

Hillary Clinton 'Probably A Witch' Agree Bush And Brown

BRITAIN and the United States have signed an historic agreement to hunt down witches and burn them in the village square.

After talks at the White House George Bush and Gordon Brown agreed that Senator Hillary Clinton was almost certainly the leader of an international coven which "nightly indulges in fleshy abominations with Satan himself".

Brown said: "If we pious and humble souls are to save thee from devilish temptations we must, by the grace of God, makest a mortal enemy of witchcraft.

Viewers Baffled By New Series Of 'West Wing'

IT is one of the most critically acclaimed shows in the history of television, but last night's premiere of the new series of the West Wing left British viewers perplexed.

Disney To Ban Patio Heaters

ENTERTAINMENT giant Disney is to remove all images of patio heaters from its films.