Teenage Boys Younger Versions Of Men, Say Experts

TEENAGE boys are nothing more than younger versions of men, new research suggests. 

White Guys To Be Taken Out For A Pint

WHITE guys are to be taken to the pub this weekend and told they are good at things too.

America Buys All That Change Bullshit

BARACK Obama swept to victory last night as millions of Americans lapped up all that bullshit about change.

Britain Now At Its Most Outraged Since 1747

BRITAIN is now more appalled and outraged than at any point in the last 260 years, it has been confirmed.

Brown Sells You To Some Arab Gentlemen

PRIME minister Gordon Brown returned to the UK last night after successfully negotiating the purchase of you by some Arabs.

Horror As BT Couple Re-Establish Contact

BRITAIN recoiled in horror last night as the BT broadband couple took their first tentative steps towards reconciliation.

Ryanair to offer £8 transatlantic shitfest

RYANAIR is to become the first budget carrier to fly passengers to New York in utter misery for less than a tenner.

Data Stick Makes It As Far As Pub

THE government claimed a major victory for data security last night after a memory stick containing highly-sensitive details made it as far as the pub.