News

Any chance you could stop being dicks? Facebook asks users

FACEBOOK has begged users to behave like vaguely normal human beings.

If you loved your children you would found a free school, says government

THE government has told parents that if they really cared about their children's education they would found their own free school.

Man in cafe desperate to be friends with people who work there

A MAN who spends a lot of time in a cool cafe is desperate to become friends with its staff, it has emerged.

Dog disgusted to discover he is a 'fanny magnet'

A DOG has been dismayed to realise that he is being used as a way for an average-looking man to attract women, it has emerged.

Couple build dream home for nightmare lifestyle

AN AFFLUENT couple have created an amazing house in which to do tedious things with their awful friends, they have revealed.

Everyone nearly ready to admit Trainspotting 2 was pretty awful

THE general public are just about ready to admit T2 Trainspotting is absolutely shocking, it has been confirmed.

Northern Ireland briefly noticed

BRITAIN has briefly noticed Northern Ireland before returning its attention to other things.

Thingy from Harry Potter mixed up in some load of bollocks

THINGY who was in Harry Potter is in a mood about some load of bollocks, it has emerged.