BBC To Screen Gaza Appeal If It Includes Phone-In Scam

THE BBC has agreed to air a charity appeal for the stricken people of Gaza, as long as they can include a fraudulent phone-in contest, it emerged last night.

Obama Shuts Down 'Grey's Anatomy'

PRESIDENT Barack Obama yesterday fulfilled a key campaign promise by announcing the closure of Grey's Anatomy.

Daily alcohol limits not really working for us, say drinkers

RECOMMENDED daily limits on alcohol are really not doing it for us, drinkers have confirmed.

British Gas To Let You Eat

BRITISH Gas has agreed to leave you just enough money so you can eat.

Doctors Recommend Kebabs For High Testicle Content

THE doner kebab is a nutritious snack filled with zinc and proteins from the compacted shavings of at least 14 different varieties of testicle, doctors said last night.

US Chief Justice Missing

JOHN Roberts, the Chief Justice of the US Supreme Court, was missing last night after ruining Barack Obama's inauguration.

Women Hard-Wired For Cake

WOMEN'S brains are hard-wired for cake, new research shows.

Hope, Challenges, Whatever

BARACK Obama began his historic presidency yesterday with an historic call for hope, renewal, blah blah, hard work, all that sort of stuff.