News

Man who retweets feminist memes can't understand why women still don't like him

A MAN who shares feminist memes online cannot work out why women behave 'like such rude bitches'.

Mark E. Smith celebrates 60th birthday with promise to be less mainstream

AS he celebrates his 60th birthday Mark E Smith has pledged to be ‘less mainstream and easy going’.

Media begin search for new far right nutter to turn into a household name

THE UK media are actively seeking  a new braying, right wing idiot to feature over-prominently in news and current affairs programmes.

Joy of spring curtailed by remembering it pisses it down throughout

BRITAIN’S brief joy at the arrival of spring has ceased after remembering that it will rain solidly for two months of it.

Single policeman 'could cover whole UK if they tried hard enough'

ONE policeman could adequately cover the whole UK if they put their back into it, the home secretary has said.

US fears Trump may discover emojis

AMERICA fears it may just be a matter of time before President Trump discovers the emoji keyboard on his phone.

Addiction warnings on heroin packaging ‘the nanny state gone mad’

HEROIN users are criticising laws that the drug must be sold in plain black packaging with health warnings as the ‘nanny state gone mad’.

Parallel-timeline President Hillary Clinton impeached for wearing ugly shoes

PRESIDENT Hillary Clinton in a parallel timeline is facing impeachment and criminal charges for wearing ugly shoes.