Please keep women out of the SAS, say men who can only read books about the SAS

WOMEN should not be allowed in the SAS, according to men who read books about the SAS and only about the SAS.

Woman finally switches from Topshop to M&S

A 36-YEAR-OLD woman says she feels ‘relieved and happy’ after admitting that she would rather shop in Marks & Spencer than Topshop.

Mums' group unites in hatred of parent who is not a total mess

A NEW mother has committed the unforgivable crime of admitting to others she is not a sobbing wreck.

How about we forget the bill and get straight to the part we like, says Davis

THE UK has suggested the EU skip this whole bill business and go straight to the part where we get everything we want.

Man likes wearing wanky little necklace

A WOMAN is distraught after finding out her new partner is into wanky necklaces and bracelets, she has revealed.

All burgers now impossible to eat

IT IS no longer possible to buy a burger you can fit in your mouth, it has been confirmed.

Hungover history teacher accidentally starts teaching Game of Thrones

A HUNGOVER history teacher accidentally started teaching scenes from Game of Thrones as real events, it has emerged.

Get that uniform on and get against that door, children told

SCHOOLCHILDREN have been ordered to get their uniforms on and stand against a door to be photographed.