A MAN who shares feminist memes online cannot work out why women behave 'like such rude bitches'.
AS he celebrates his 60th birthday Mark E Smith has pledged to be ‘less mainstream and easy going’.
THE UK media are actively seeking a new braying, right wing idiot to feature over-prominently in news and current affairs programmes.
BRITAIN’S brief joy at the arrival of spring has ceased after remembering that it will rain solidly for two months of it.
ONE policeman could adequately cover the whole UK if they put their back into it, the home secretary has said.
AMERICA fears it may just be a matter of time before President Trump discovers the emoji keyboard on his phone.
HEROIN users are criticising laws that the drug must be sold in plain black packaging with health warnings as the ‘nanny state gone mad’.
PRESIDENT Hillary Clinton in a parallel timeline is facing impeachment and criminal charges for wearing ugly shoes.
- Man not sure if book is good enough to go in toilet
- New bar to call itself 'Pretentious Shithole' and be done with it
- Them foreigners is a right bunch, say angry old men
- Towns with best 'quality of life' all sound shit
- President of United States wildly applauded for getting through whole speech without massive f**k up