SCIENCE fiction conventions are attracting more hard bastards than football matches, it has emerged.
MOST British men have no idea what masculinity would actually involve, it has been confirmed.
SIMPLY deciding in advance what you want from a cashpoint can stop others wanting to kill you, it has been claimed.
THE high cost of petrol may not be caused by poltergeists, it has emerged.
MEN were last night delighted to discover that feminism is making a comeback.
A CRISIS in A & E means Britons may be forced to reconsider whether they can have a fight this weekend.
TELEVISION adverts must show a couple getting together, having kids and then sending their kids to university, according to new guidelines.
SYRIA'S rebels need a camping stove, some cutlery and a good, solid frying pan, David Cameron has confirmed.