We'll definitely be needing a hard border now, confirms Arlene Foster

DUP leader Arlene Foster has told the government they will absolutely have to have a post-Brexit hard border after that.

Hipster with pipe admits he has gone too far this time

A HIPSTER has disgusted even himself with his latest affectation of smoking a pipe.

Married couple's night out not as good as their last one in 2002

A MARRIED couple have admitted their evening out yesterday was a let-down compared to that time in 2002.

Middle class family go back to nature by 'camping' in ensuite yurt

A MIDDLE class family from London has unveiled plans to go back to basics by ‘camping’ in a yurt that has a proper toilet, a power shower and a free-standing bath.

Lad in football shirt makes fun of nerds in Harry Potter robes 

AN absolute lad wearing a football shirt thinks some people wearing Harry Potter robes are pathetic, it has been confirmed.

Be ready for a nasty shock, US and Britain tell Ireland

THE UK and US have wished Ireland good luck on its abortion referendum, but warned the country it may find out who it really is.

GDPR emails told to chill the f**k out

DESPERATE GDPR emails telling people ‘their time is up’ and ‘they must take action now’ have been told to calm the fuck down.

Meghan to spend six months learning how to wave

THE Duchess of Sussex is to be taught how to be an ‘effective royal’ by learning how to wave correctly.