News

Firing banknotes out of cannons into Channel ‘cheaper than Brexit’, say experts

TOP economists have urged the government to consider shooting bundles of £50 notes into the sea as an alternative to hard Brexit.

Trump unveils new law of physics allowing him to cross previously undiscovered lines

DONALD Trump has employed theoretical physicists to create infinite lines of taste and decency he can eventually cross.

What the hell is this 'prom' bullshit? asks everyone over 30

ANYONE aged 30 or over is having difficulty accepting that school leavers now get to go to a big prom, they have confirmed.

"Alexa, if I’m going to die, then what’s the point of doing anything?"

AMAZON’S smart speaker is not yet ready for life’s bigger questions, it has emerged.

Osborne takes seventh job in Greggs

FORMER chancellor George Osborne has taken a seventh job serving behind the counter of Greggs in Romford, it has emerged.

'So much for the Great British Summer!' say dreadful twats

THE normalisation of the weather has caused an upsurge in verbal twattery, experts have warned.

Rupert Murdoch awarded BBC

RUPERT Murdoch’s News Corp should be given the BBC to do whatever it wants with, Ofcom has ruled.

Most social attitudes 'stupid and confused', finds Social Attitudes Survey

MOST Britons believe in stupid contradictory bullshit that is impossible to analyse, a survey has found.