News

Mark Wahlberg confirmed as god of incredibly average men

UNINTERESTING men have hailed Mark Wahlberg as their god.

Boring couple constantly buggering about with house

A BORING couple are constantly buggering about making pointless alterations to their house.

School holiday parents developing thousand yard stares

EVEN the hardest of parents are developing a blank gaze during the latter stages of the school holidays, it has emerged.

Doctor Who fans furious to discover it is load of bollocks

ANGRY Doctor Who fans have condemned the programme after realising it is total bollocks.

Stella-guzzling arsehole has strong moral stance against drugs

A MAN who regularly gets into fights while drunk would never get involved with dangerous drugs like cannabis, he has announced.

UK's first non-weird driving instructor discovered

A NON-WEIRD driving instructor  has been discovered in the UK.

Professional Northerner caught drinking wine

A PROFESSIONAL Northerner's credibility is in tatters after he was caught drinking wine.

America to remain in darkness until at least 2020

THERE will be a darkness cloaking America for at least the next three years, it has emerged.