WHEN I was a younger woman, I flirted with the idea of getting into politics because of my diplomatic skills, impeccably high moral standards and vocabulary consisting of roughly a million words. This is why I cannot fathom how recent events have come to decimate our once so fabulous government.

Dispatches from Poppy Spalding

I've always believed I am the reincarnation of the lush, gold-plated boy king, Tutankhamun. That is why it was imperative that I returned to my old stomping ground of ancient Egypt to check out my pyramids and cop some rays.

Dear Holly,
Since the birth of my first child, I have developed a rather intimate and embarrassing problem, and I am too ashamed to visit the doctor. Before I fell pregnant I was vaguely aware that having a baby might have some physical side-effects, but it seems that squeezing out a head and shoulders has seriously knackered my flaps...