Opinion
My Big Gap Year: Hips Don't Lie, Usually
Dispatches from Poppy Spalding
Tuesday: Bogota
AFTER being a total communist and gorging myself on kolbasa for almost two weeks, I decided to embark on the famous 'Trotsky trail' and jump on the next Aeroflot to South America. I'm sure if he'd been around today, he would never have gone to stinky Mexico and had communism with moustachioed artists. Like me, he would have come straight to Columbia to undulate frantically like the artist who gets her Ladyshave out once in a while: Shakira!
One Woman's Week: Too Many Pricks
Karen Fenessey
ANOTHER Mother’s Day passes and once again we all take a moment to remember that special woman who sums up the entire event: Jade Goody. But can I be the only one who absolutely insists we look more closely at the legacy she has bequeathed us?
My Big Gap Year: Dr Skivago
Despatches from Poppy Spalding
IT'S surely not just the president of Russia and me who found ourselves wondering during the women's parallel giant slalom 'is that as easy as it looks?'
One Woman's Week: It Could Be Me
By Karen Fenessey
NO doubt when Britain's latest Euromillionaires have completed their cider-fuelled celebrations they will say a prayer to Jesus, Vishnu or whatever pagan wicker god they worship in Gloucestershire. But little do they know that the force of nature they should be thanking is me.
Guest Blog: Fearne Cotton
OH-my-God, I'm like, sooooooo busy at the moment - I haven't had any time to be down in the dumps, unlike the crowd of people I saw today standing at a bus stop in the rain. I told my driver to slow down and as he did, I poked my head out of the window and hollered, "Cheer up guys - it might never happen!" It doesn't matter how mega-stressed you're feeling, you've still got to find time for your fans...
My Big Gap Year: The Athens Of The South
Despatches from Poppy Spalding
Friday: Greece
This week I'm in Athens, the ancient city responsible for PE, maths and classics and, without which, there would have been no need for me to attend fifth form on a Tuesday.
Guest Blog: Jonathan Ross
'TELL me, how many times did you knock one out over Princess Margaret?' is the question I'd have put to Prince Philip if he'd ever been allowed to come on my show...
One Woman's Week: Big Chef, Little Chef
By Karen Fenessey
It's common courtesy to give a gift receipt with Christmas presents. Not only does this allow you to ascertain if the person bought the item at a marked down price, it also allows you to return it should it be unsuitable. Donny's creepy Jewish sister made no attempt to atone for what she did to Christ and gave me a pair of socks from Marks and Spencer's...
My Big Gap Year: And The Wind Cries Mary
Desptaches from Poppy Spalding
Friday: The Balkans
THIS week finds me on a pilgrimage to Medjugorje in Bosnia. I'd intended to spend Christmas in Munich getting gubbed on Glue Wine at their famous German markets, but after meeting some really happy Italians in the train station, I changed my plans. They said that their happiness was all because of Santa Maria (who's not like the Santa who comes down your chimney like I initially thought).
