Politics

Next Labour PM celebrates 10th birthday

THE boy who will be Britain’s next Labour Prime Minister in 2056 turned 10 years old yesterday.

Cameron moves Syria Post-it to eye-level

DAVID Cameron has decisively moved a Post-it note reading “Action on Syria?!?” to eye-level on his fridge door.

Child poverty was invented for Oliver! says IDS

CHILD poverty was created by Lionel Bart for the 1968 musical Oliver!, the work and pensions secretary has claimed.

March all you f**king like, says Osborne

GEORGE Osborne has told anti-austerity protestors to knock themselves out when it comes to marching.

Corbyn in last-minute bid to be completely ignored

JEREMY Corbyn is fighting to secure the 35 nominations he needs to fail in his leadership bid.

Labour to be renamed ‘Labour, I Suppose’

THE Labour Party is rebranding itself with the phrase that is used by its voters.

Increasingly forlorn Green Party poster still in window

A SAD-LOOKING poster asking people to vote Green is still up in the window of a house.

Cameron surprised at how quickly he’s turned into John Major

DAVID Cameron is genuinely shocked at the speed at which he has become a lame duck continually undermined by Tory Eurosceptics.