Young Conservatives to victimise other social outcasts

BULLIED young Conservatives have bonded over a shared desire to target their fellow Godforsaken wretches.

Tories to build thousands of affordable second homes

THE government is to build 200,000 second houses to help homeowners onto the buy-to-let ladder.

Leftie caricature of 'evil Tories' broadly accurate, admits middle England

MIDDLE England has admitted the Tories are the baddies in a film, just like those lefties always claimed.

Osborne ‘light years ahead of TaxPayers' Alliance on dead pensioner thing’

GEORGE Osborne has thanked the TaxPayers’ Alliance for its dead pensioners idea, but stressed he is ‘at least five moves ahead of them’.

Tories' London mayor candidate is statue of man on horse

THE Conservatives have chosen a statue of the Duke of Wellington riding a horse as their candidate for Mayor of London.

Corbyn celebrates two weeks of not being bumped off by MI5

JEREMY Corbyn has celebrated his first two weeks of not being assassinated by the British establishment.

UKIP votes to support staying in Europe

THE UKIP conference has voted to campaign for staying in Europe after all.

Future prime minister has one and only drug experience

THE MAN who will one day be Britain's prime minister has smoked cannabis for the first and only time.