Politics

If you're all so poor, how come the pubs are so bloody full? by Philip Hammond

You people magically pluck banknotes from the air to drink solidly from six till midnight. You're walking bloody economic miracles.

Budget assigns £3bn to Brexit, £6bn to bullshit, and £12bn to total and utter bollocks

THE government has promised £3 billion in funding for Brexit, a further £6 billion for bullshit, and an unprecedented £12 billion for utter fucking bollocks.

Budget just a picture of a skull and crossbones

PHILIP Hammond has revealed that his Budget is just a picture of a skull and crossbones.

Seriously though, Northern Ireland, says EU

THE EU has responded to Britain’s increased exit payment offer by asking for the 132nd time what exactly is the deal with Northern Ireland. 

Britons wondering how you go about starting a coup

THE UK is wondering just how one would forcibly remove an unpopular leader with no democratic mandate hell-bent on ruining the country.

Brexiter strangely quiet about voting for obvious twats

A BREXITER does not want to discuss the fact that he voted for twats like Boris and Gove.

British Cabinet grips fans by killing off a character every week

NEW streaming series The British Cabinet is picking up millions of fans who enjoy television that is not afraid to kill characters off.

I wish it was you firing me, May tells Patel

THE prime minister has fired secretary of state Priti Patel while telling her she wishes with all her heart it was the other way around.