Politics

Man convinced politics is bullshit despite knowing sod all about it

A MAN believes all politics is bullshit but cannot give a sensible explanation of his views, it has emerged.

Corbyn victory impossible because elections 100 per cent predictable these days

JEREMY Corbyn cannot win the election because polls are always totally accurate, it has been confirmed.

Are these the arms of a supervillain? asks May

THERESA May has asked Britain if her arms look like the freakish limbs of a supervillain who chokes life from her enemies, or not.

All white people look alike to me, says Nuttall

UKIP leader Paul Nuttall admitted he got names wrong in the leadership debate because he cannot tell white people apart.

Don't worry, there's loads of ways around it, Tories reassure rich

THE Conservatives have reassured wealthy voters that there are loads of loopholes in their death tax and they will not lose a penny.

Any policies you quite like are bullshit, confirms media

ANY policies that seem like a good idea to you are actually total bullshit, newspapers have confirmed.

The Mash guide to the Labour Manifesto

CRITICS call it 'the longest passive-aggressive kitchen note to housemates in history', but what is actually in Labour's Little Red Book?

Theresa May's campaign schedule for today

AN exclusive look at Theresa May's campaign schedule for today, and every other day.