Politics
If The Answer Is Vince Cable Then I'm Moving To France, Says Everyone
IF the answer to Britain's economic problems is Vince Cable then what are the schools like in the Dordogne, it was claimed last night.
Tory Tax Cut Funded By Low Income Child Auction
THE Conservatives have pledged to reverse Labour's national insurance hike by selling no more than 1.5m of Britain's least important children.
Cameron Foetus Will Wreck Recovery, Says Brown
THE tiny foetus growing inside the wife of Tory leader David Cameron will slash front line services and wreck Britain's fragile economic recovery, the prime minister claimed last night.
MPs Claim Expenses For Getting Caught At Being Whores
FOUR Labour MPs have claimed expenses for getting caught offering to peddle their influence to the highest bidder like common whores.
Call Us 'Deplorable', Union Orders Brown
BRITAIN'S biggest trade union today ordered Gordon Brown to describe it as 'deplorable'.
Lib Dems Pledge 20% Increase In Semen-Filled Tube Socks
NICK Clegg has pledged to raise the amount of semen coating the inside of Britain's tube socks by at least a fifth.
Tory Campaign To Focus On Marginal Wives
THE Conservative Party leadership are to shift the focus of their election campaign to securing the support of their own wives.
Labour Eyes Poll Boost From Ripper Release
GORDON Brown is considering granting parole to the Yorkshire Ripper in the hope of another opinion poll boost.
Angry Taxpayers Demand Tutorial From Lord Ashcroft
VOTERS across Britain have expressed outrage at Lord Ashcroft's ability to avoid more tax than them.
