Politics
Rats Desert Shit Government
A PROCESSION of Labour ministers and backbench MPs announced their resignations yesterday, like rats deserting an utterly shit government.
Cameron Pledges Power To The Maniacs
TORY leader David Cameron last night pledged to transform British democracy by devolving power to the lowest possible level of maniac.
Labour To Back PR For Insultingly Obvious Reasons
LABOUR is to back proportional representation in what they claim will be a major step towards rebuilding their chances of getting back into power before everyone's dead.
Ministers Hired Accountants Who Don't Know What Capital Gains Tax Is
NINE government ministers used £11,000 of taxpayers' money to scour Britain for the tiny handful of accountants who don't know what capital gains tax is, it emerged last night.
MPs Begin Desperate Hunt For Loopholes
A NEW system of MPs' allowances was outlined by Gordon Brown last night as shamed members of parliament immediately began scouring it for scams and loopholes.
Labour Chief Whip Defends Pet Cheetah
NICK Brown, the Labour chief whip, has defended his £19,000 food bill, insisting it is not cheap to feed a pet cheetah these days.
Bunch Of Shits Turn On Chief Shit
MICHAEL Martin, the Chief Shit, was clinging to office last night amid a growing revolt by all the other stinking turds.
MPs Call For Ban On Huge, Irresistible Televisions
MPs from all parties last night demanded a ban on the gigantic, irresistible, state of the art television sets at the root of the House of Commons expenses scandal.
Question Time Audience Marches On London
THE audience from BBC1's Question Time was marching on London last night, parading the severed head of housing minister Margaret Beckett on a pike, like some kind of ghoulish mascot.
