Politics
Brown To Regain Initiative By Admitting Schools Are Rubbish
GORDON Brown is hoping to regain the political initiative today by confirming that Britain's schools are so much worse than they used to be.
A Guide To The People You Don't Care About In Labour's Civil War
AS Gordon Brown fights for his political life the Daily Mash brings you a guide to the key players in the tumultuous battle for the heart and soul of the Labour party. No, we don't really give a shit either.
Rampant Gurkhas Will Chop Your Head Off, Warns Brown
PRIME minister Gordon Brown has warned of large piles of severed heads if thousands of tiny Gurkhas are given the right to live in the UK.
Christ On A Bike, Says Britain
THE full extent of the Britain's public debt last night led to a devastating collapse in the nation's face.
Brown Somehow Manages To Make Total Arse Of MPs' Expenses
PRIME minister Gordon Brown has surprised Westminster by somehow managing to make the scandal over MPs' expenses even worse than it already was.
Budget To Include £1 Billion For New Squats
TOMORROW'S Budget is expected to include a £1 billion programme to build thousands of houses that no-one can afford to buy.
I'm Not Even Trying Any More, Admits Darling
CHANCELLOR Alistair Darling last night admitted he is not even trying any more after pledging £15bn worth of 'efficiency savings'.
'Civil Servants' 'Exaggerated' 'Case' Against Damian Green
MINSTERS made up a load of lies to try and get Tory frontbencher Damian Green arrested, it has been claimed.
Brown Urged To Distance Himself From Himself
PRIME minister Gordon Brown was last night being urged to distance himself from himself.
