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Politics
FOREIGN OFFICE HAS NO IDEA WHO FOREIGN SECRETARY IS
AFTER months of speculation, civil servants at the Foreign Office have admitted that they do not know who the Foreign Secretary is.
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SOLIDARITY ON THE BRINK AFTER FRESH CUSTARD ALLEGATION

Tommy Sheridan's new party Solidarity was on the brink of collapse last night after fresh allegations that the left-wing firebrand is in the grip of a custard fetish. 

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McCONNELL REPLACES PEACOCK WITH BAG OF POTATOES
FIRST Minister Jack McConnell today strengthened his cabinet by replacing former education minister Peter Peacock with a 5lb bag of potatoes.
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Opinion

ONE WOMAN'S WEEK: ONE GIANT LEAP FOR CHERYL

By Karen Fenessey

I THINK it's great America has taken a small step for man by electing a black president. But amidst all the hilarity, I must ask: when will enough be enough? How far do white folks have to go to convince the world we're sorry about slavery? And meanwhile, what about the compelling racial saga taking place right here on our own doorstep: Cheryl Cole's legendary heroics on the X Factor.

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