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LABOUR TO FOCUS ON SELLING BOOKS

LABOUR is to shift its focus from governing the country to selling books, the prime minister will announce today.

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WENDY ALEXANDER GOES TO TOILET BY HERSELF

THE Scottish Labour leader Wendy Alexander was celebrating last night after going to the toilet all by herself.

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I HATE EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU, ADMITS BROWN

PRIME minster Gordon Brown last night admitted he loathes absolutely everyone in Britain.

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Opinion

GUEST BLOG: NOEL GALLAGHER

THE Olympics - what the fuck was that all about? Every morning, right, that Scottish bird off the telly would sit on a sofa telling us that we'd won a bronze medal in the women’s catapult and that everyone could now go to work with a big smile on their face - in retrospect I think she somehow mistook me for somebody who gives a fuck.

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