Sport

Professional football sickened by FIFA’s culture of greed

THE world of professional football has expressed its outrage at the 'sickening' greed of FIFA officials.

Blatter unveils enormous gonads

SEPP Blatter has confirmed he has quite tremendously huge testicles.

FIFA’s ball confiscated

THE ball used for the World Cup has been confiscated.

Qatar still the home of football, says Blatter

FIFA president Sepp Blatter has confirmed that Qatar remains the birthplace of football and no investigation will change that.

At least three applicants for West Ham job clearly Allardyce in disguise

WEST Ham has been disappointed by how many of the applicants to becomes its manager are departing boss Sam Allardyce.

Delia Smith turns down Norwich promotion

NORWICH City owner Delia Smith has turned down the club's promotion, insisting the Premier League is too fancy.

Gerrard suffers 16 years of self awareness overnight

STEVEN Gerrard is catatonic after realising what he has done with his life since 1998.

Steven Gerrard to end Liverpool career by destroying stadium

LIVERPOOL captain Steven Gerrard has promised to end his final game at Anfield by razing the stadium to the ground.