McClaren ‘surprised as everyone else’ to find himself back in football

STEVE McClaren has been unable to explain how he came to be managing a football club again.

FIFA 17 includes option to take a bung

THE 2017 edition of FIFA for the Xbox has a more realistic manager mode which allows players to take bungs in Far East hotels.

Hard kid from down the park tops FA list

THE hard kid from the park who always gets first pick of players has been tipped to replace Sam Allardyce.

Trump to become England manager

DONALD Trump will be unveiled as England manager this Saturday, the FA has confirmed.

Britain wants Jurgen Klopp to be its stepdad

BRITAIN’S football fans have admitted that having Jurgen Klopp as a stepdad would be great.

Big Sam doesn’t give a f**k

ENGLAND manager Sam Allardyce has confirmed that he could not give a fuck what anybody says.

Gareth Bale finally able to afford haircut

GARETH Bale's new contract will finally allow him to do something about his hair.

Sky Sports wins rights to Great British Bake Off

THE next series of Great British Bake Off will be part of Sky Sports' roster of ultra-hyped events.