Sport

England fans to stay at Edgbaston and get shitfaced

EDGBASTON will stay open until 7pm today so England cricket fans can get mortal.

Mourinho's fat jibes 'must be part of a sophisticated mind game'

CHELSEA manager Jose Mourinho's intricate, enigmatic mind games moved up another level when he called Rafa Benitez fat yesterday.

Kids playing football in park offer Ramos deal

SOME children in a park have offered to take Sergio Ramos, if Real Madrid agrees to take a chunky boy in wellies and Dean’s little brother who’s got asthma.

Champagne renowned for its urine-like flavour, French tell Froome

TOUR de France winner Chris Froome has been surprised by how much champagne tastes like urine.

Chunky, middle-aged Sunday League players now worth £750,000

INFLATED Premier League transfer fees have boosted the average pub team player’s value to three-quarters of a million pounds.

Fifa to monetize hooliganism

FOOTBALL violence has been repackaged by Fifa as an essential part of the game that fans must pay for, it has emerged.

Transfer saga concludes with transfer Ragnarok

THE protracted tale of Christian Benteke's move to Liverpool has ended with the death of the transfer gods and the immersion of the world in water.

Tour de France reaches infamous wine tasting stage

A THIRD of riders in the Tour de France are missing after the gruelling wine-and-cheese stage of the race.