Sport
England Primitive, Say Potato Gangsters
ENGLAND'S 2018 World Cup bid is 'primitive' according to the land of potato gangsters where nothing works.
Owen Out With Ovary Strain
Manchester United striker Michael Owen will be out for six weeks after straining his left ovary.
Portsmouth Saved By Rooney Change Jar
WAYNE Rooney has ensured Portsmouth FC's future after pledging them the contents of his sofa.
Anfield Reign Was Elaborate Hoax, Reveals Benitez
RAFAEL Benitez has admitted that his six years in charge of Liverpool was an elaborate, David Copperfield-style illusion.
Liverpool Court Drama To Replace Home Matches
FANS have asked for the ownership battle over Liverpool FC to be staged at Anfield in place of the actual football.
Montenegro Not Even A Real Country, Claims FA
ENGLAND'S football chiefs have declared last night's 0-0 draw null and void after failing to find Montenegro in their 1959 Atlas Of The World.
Tevez Demands 30 Minute Matches
CARLOS Tevez has asked the Premier League to consider overhauling the entire football rulebook as his legs are a bit tired.
Red Sox Owner Fulfills Boyhood Passion For Whingeing Thieves
THE owner of the Boston Red Sox has fulfilled a life-long ambition of
surrounding himself with thousands of whining bastards who want to steal
his car.
Montgomerie Dedicates Ryder Cup Victory To Jesus
EUROPE'S Ryder Cup captain Colin Montgomerie last night said the victory
would not have been possible without the love and guidance of Jesus
Christ.
