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MOURINHO QUITS AFTER SUSHI OFFER

FORMER Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho has quit the club after his Russian employers offered to discuss his contract over sushi.
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DARLING TO GUARANTEE ALL BETS ON THE 3.50 AT LINGFIELD

CHANCELLOR Alistair Darling has agreed to cover all bets at this afternoon's EBF Maiden Stakes and is tipping the Irish two year-old, General Ting.
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CAGE FIGHTING PROBABLY GAY, SAY DOCTORS

NO holds barred cage fighting can lead to long term gayness and an obsession with thighs, the British Medical Association claimed last night.
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Opinion

MY BIG GAP YEAR

Dispatches from Poppy Spalding Friday: Beijing This week finds me in the capital of China – somewhere I have dreamed of coming ever since the age of five when my parents bought me my first round of banana fritters.
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