Sport

Premier League teams staying in America

THE Premier League clubs touring the USA have informed their fans they prefer it over there and they're not coming back.

Scholes to be voiced by Julie Walters

SOFTLY-SPOKEN Paul Scholes will be voiced by Julie Walters when he appears as a pundit on BT Sport.

Usain Bolt not leaving Scotland alive, confirm officials

GLASGOW'S Commonwealth Games officials have confirmed that Usain Bolt is a dead man walking.

Rugby league players consider dodging tackles

PIONEERING rugby league players may break with 119 years of tradition to avoid tackles instead of running straight into them.

Southampton to play homeopathic football

SOUTHAMPTON are to bid for the Premier League using the concept of homeopathy.

Drogba returns to Chelsea to die

STRIKER Didier Drogba is dragging himself back to Stamford Bridge to end his days, the club has confirmed.

New Spurs kit just a shirt and socks

TOTTENHAM Hotspur players will line up in 2014/15 wearing a long shirt that barely covers their groins, it has been revealed.

Van Gaal demands players adopt his hairstyle

LOUIS Van Gaal has ordered Manchester United’s players to have their hair cut exactly like his.