Sport

Usain Bolt not leaving Scotland alive, confirm officials

GLASGOW'S Commonwealth Games officials have confirmed that Usain Bolt is a dead man walking.

Rugby league players consider dodging tackles

PIONEERING rugby league players may break with 119 years of tradition to avoid tackles instead of running straight into them.

Southampton to play homeopathic football

SOUTHAMPTON are to bid for the Premier League using the concept of homeopathy.

Drogba returns to Chelsea to die

STRIKER Didier Drogba is dragging himself back to Stamford Bridge to end his days, the club has confirmed.

New Spurs kit just a shirt and socks

TOTTENHAM Hotspur players will line up in 2014/15 wearing a long shirt that barely covers their groins, it has been revealed.

Van Gaal demands players adopt his hairstyle

LOUIS Van Gaal has ordered Manchester United’s players to have their hair cut exactly like his.

Gerrard retirement speech 'accidentally' ruined by Lampard

AN emotional speech confirming Steven Gerrard's retirement from England duty has been marred by loud praise from Frank Lampard.

McIlroy's dad puts £100,000 on him burning out by 30

GERRY McIlroy has bet the money he won on his son's Open victory on him never winning a major ever again.