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	<title>The Daily Mash &#187; Sport</title>
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		<item>
		<title>Cricketers acting all tough</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/cricketers-acting-all-tough-2013061271954</link>
		<pubDate>Wed, 12 Jun 2013 10:30:55 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Sport Headlines]]></category>
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		<description><![CDATA[A CRICKETER has punched another cricketer right in the face. Following an alleged fracas between Australia&#8217;s David Warner and England&#8217;s Joe Root, fans of the world&#8217;s least masculine pastime said they were shocked that professional players possessed that much testosterone. Martin Bishop, from Stevenage, said: &#8220;This is all very nasty and rough. If they want [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Mourinho press conference leaves a disgusting sticky mess</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/mourinho-press-conference-leaves-a-disgusting-sticky-mess-2013061171608</link>
		<pubDate>Tue, 11 Jun 2013 08:32:31 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Sport]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[CHELSEA cleaning staff are still hosing down their press room after Jose Mourinho met reporters yesterday.]]></description>
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		<title>Real Madrid cracks down on Bernabéu-walkers</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/real-madrid-crack-down-on-bernabeu-walkers-2013053170506</link>
		<pubDate>Fri, 31 May 2013 09:28:21 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Sport]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[DOZENS of footballers have been spotted loitering around Real Madrid’s ground touting for business.]]></description>
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		<title>Everton fans weird</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/everton-fans-weird-2013052870165</link>
		<pubDate>Tue, 28 May 2013 08:57:51 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Sport Headlines]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=70165</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[A FURIOUS protest over badges suggests Everton fans may not be normal.]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>Beckham &#8216;had been playing football&#8217; since leaving Man United</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/beckham-had-been-playing-football-since-leaving-man-united-2013051769101</link>
		<pubDate>Fri, 17 May 2013 07:52:03 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Sport Headlines]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=69101</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[DAVID Beckham continued to play professional football from time to time after leaving Manchester United, it has emerged.]]></description>
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		<title>Ferguson to manage Manchester City</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/ferguson-to-manage-manchester-city-2013051368462</link>
		<pubDate>Mon, 13 May 2013 08:56:28 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Sport]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[News Briefly Box]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=68462</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[ALEX Ferguson will fulfil his lifelong dream of managing Manchester City, the club has confirmed. The wine-friendly former United manager will take over from Roberto Mancini after the Italian failed to meet the high expectations the club suddenly decided it has. Ferguson said: “I’ve driven past their ground late at night, muttering ‘one day, Alex, [...]]]></description>
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		<title>This will not be a disaster, Moyes keeps telling himself</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/this-will-not-be-a-disaster-moyes-keeps-telling-himself-2013050968042</link>
		<pubDate>Thu, 09 May 2013 09:22:46 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Sport Headlines]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[NEW Manchester United manager David Moyes has spent the last 24 hours reassuring himself that this is not going to be an unmitigated catastrophe.]]></description>
		</item>
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		<title>Angry Scotsman to be released into community</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/angry-scotsman-to-be-released-into-community-2013050867819</link>
		<pubDate>Wed, 08 May 2013 09:07:24 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Sport Headlines]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[BRITAIN faces the prospect of yet another unemployed, angry Scottish person at large.]]></description>
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		<title>Newcastle apply for voluntary relegation</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/newcastle-apply-for-voluntary-relegation-2013042966984</link>
		<pubDate>Mon, 29 Apr 2013 08:44:15 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Sport]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[NEWCASTLE have volunteered to be relegated from the Premier League, following their 6-0 defeat at home to Liverpool.]]></description>
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		<title>Yeah, whatever, marathon runners told</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/yeah-whatever-marathon-runners-told-2013042266258</link>
		<pubDate>Mon, 22 Apr 2013 09:58:32 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Sport]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[News Briefly Box]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=66258</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[EVERYONE will be bored of marathon anecdotes by 2pm, say experts. Chapped nipples, sore feet and the sight of Jonathan Pearce’s sweaty arse will quickly cease to be acceptable topics of conversation as runners are met with widespread indifference. Telesales drone Tom Logan said: “Yeah, let me guess, it was really tiring around ‘mile 16’ [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Chelsea &#8216;slathered in mayonnaise&#8217;</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/chelsea-slathered-in-mayonnaise-2013042266230</link>
		<pubDate>Mon, 22 Apr 2013 09:38:04 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Sport]]></category>
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		<description><![CDATA[BRENDAN Rodgers has accused Rafael Benitez of coating his players in garlic mayonnaise.  After Luis Suarez tucked into defender Ivanovic during yesterday’s match, Liverpool players say their opponents had a distractingly scrumptious odour throughout the game. Rodgers said: “I spotted a big pot of allioli in the away dressing room at half time and I [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Goal-line technology to bring universal justice</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/goal-line-technology-to-bring-universal-justice-2013041265416</link>
		<pubDate>Fri, 12 Apr 2013 08:09:06 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Sport]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[NEW goal-line technology is to be used in everyday life to create a more just world.]]></description>
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		<title>Horse-catapulting placates Grand National crowd</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/horse-catapulting-placates-grand-national-crowd-2013040864974</link>
		<pubDate>Mon, 08 Apr 2013 08:23:05 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Sport]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[THE organisers of the Grand National have catapulted a horse into the side of a building to compensate for this year's lack of fatalities.]]></description>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Kim Jong Un to manage Carlisle United</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/kim-jong-un-to-manage-carlisle-united-2013040264375</link>
		<pubDate>Tue, 02 Apr 2013 07:37:07 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Sport]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[CARLISLE United has installed North Korean tactical genius Kim Jong Un as manager.]]></description>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Formula One launches race unfixing probe</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/formula-one-launches-race-unfixing-probe-2013032663802</link>
		<pubDate>Tue, 26 Mar 2013 09:28:01 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Sport]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[F1 BOSSES have launched an investigation after a race somehow became unfixed.]]></description>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Ferdinand in hair appointment clash</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/ferdinand-in-hair-appointment-clash-2013031963144</link>
		<pubDate>Tue, 19 Mar 2013 09:32:23 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Sport Headlines]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=63144</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[RIO Ferdinand has pulled out of the England squad after a hairdressing appointment mix-up.<img title="More..." alt="" src="http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/wp-includes/js/tinymce/plugins/wordpress/img/trans.gif" />]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>Rugby &#8216;victory&#8217; was planned to make Wales feel good about itself</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/rugby-victory-was-planned-to-make-wales-feel-good-about-itself-2013031863014</link>
		<pubDate>Mon, 18 Mar 2013 08:23:24 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Sport]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[ENGLAND deliberately lost the Six Nations to Wales as part of a plan to boost the smaller country's morale, it has emerged.]]></description>
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		<title>Peter Shilton converts to Buddhism</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/peter-shilton-converts-to-buddhism-2013031462633</link>
		<pubDate>Thu, 14 Mar 2013 08:16:58 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Sport Headlines]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[News Briefly Box]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=62633</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[FORMER England goalkeeper Peter Shilton has converted to buddhism after the election of an Argentinean Pope. Shilton renounced Christianity as &#8216;a cruel sham which rewards the wicked&#8217; and said his life must now be a quest for peace and self-knowledge. He added: &#8220;I  was going to become an atheist but I had a chat with [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Next Reading boss to be abstract concept</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/next-reading-boss-to-be-abstract-concept-2013031262389</link>
		<pubDate>Tue, 12 Mar 2013 08:45:49 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Sport Headlines]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[THE shortlist for the new Reading manager includes ennui, empathy and a sense of unfulfillable longing.]]></description>
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		<title>Cheltenham Festival crowds have absolutely no idea what is going on</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/cheltenham-festival-crowds-have-absolutely-no-idea-what-is-going-on-2013031262378</link>
		<pubDate>Tue, 12 Mar 2013 08:22:52 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Sport]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[THOUSANDS of Cheltenham attendees are discovering that horse racing is incomprehensible.]]></description>
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