THE protracted tale of Christian Benteke's move to Liverpool has ended with the death of the transfer gods and the immersion of the world in water.
A THIRD of riders in the Tour de France are missing after the gruelling wine-and-cheese stage of the race.
EX-CHELSEA boss Claudio Ranieri is being unusually evasive when asked which team he will be managing next season.
POLICE in Manchester have warned football managers to be vigilant following a daring swindle yesterday.
ENGLAND batsman Joe Root is making an audacious bid to be recognisable to normal people.
LIVERPOOL star Raheem Sterling has presented the club with documentation of his bank balance to excuse his absence from training.
BRITONS are confessing their cock-ups in a show of solidarity with footballer Laura Bassett.
AXED Leicester City manager Nigel Pearson has blamed a "shadowy ostrich cabal" for his dismissal.