NEW goal-line technology is to be used in everyday life to create a more just world.
THE organisers of the Grand National have catapulted a horse into the side of a building to compensate for this year's lack of fatalities.
CARLISLE United has installed North Korean tactical genius Kim Jong Un as manager.
F1 BOSSES have launched an investigation after a race somehow became unfixed.
RIO Ferdinand has pulled out of the England squad after a hairdressing appointment mix-up.
ENGLAND deliberately lost the Six Nations to Wales as part of a plan to boost the smaller country's morale, it has emerged.