THE 2020 Olympic Games in Tokyo will test athletes to their physical limits by including High Rollers, Bridge Ball, and Skipping Stones.
INSURERS have banned Carlo Ancelotti from picking Gareth Bale in case he gets broken.
TRAVELLERS have been warned that large areas of North West England are currently more awful than normal.
ARSENAL has signed Portuguese striker Ronaldo from a parallel Earth for the bargain price of £5.5m.
FOOTBALL fans are furious that matches are diverting attention away from the transfer market.