I knew this would happen, says Moyes

MANCHESTER United manager David Moyes said the team’s dismal form is the sort of thing that happens to him all the time.

Stoke City wins Premier League

ALL-CONQUERING glamour club Stoke City are now a mathematical certainty to win the Premier League.

My life as a child flare mule

ONE youth’s account of the novelty explosives trade that is ruining football.

Hodgson finalises World Cup excuses formation

ENGLAND manager Roy Hodgson has settled on a first eleven excuses for failure at next year's World Cup.

Liverpool fans welcome return of utter hopelessness

SUPPORTERS have applauded Liverpool’s return to comedic woefulness following yesterday’s defeat at Hull.

Spurs to build on first 13 seconds

SPURS say they will take the positives from their unbeaten 13 seconds against Manchester City.

England collapse a relief, say fans

BEING good at cricket just felt dirty and sordid, England fans said this morning.

Vatican team qualifies for World Cup

THE national side of the Vatican, led by player-manager Pope Francis, has beaten Romania to win a place in the World Cup finals.