ANYONE pontificating on Eden Hazard will be kicked quite hard in the upper-torso, it has been confirmed.
ROBIN van Persie has confirmed he has a withered, permanently-injured version of himself in his attic.
SKEPTIC investigator James Randi has set out to disprove the magic of the FA Cup.
MARIO Balotelli last night said he was 'surprised' at Roberto Mancini's angry reaction to the bomb he planted under his car.
COMMEMORATIVE armbands worn by grieving Premier league footballers will become a permanent part of kit, under new FIFA rules.
FINANCIALLY-ASTUTE soccer star Tom Logan has confessed to a three-way romp with two excellent value call girls.
ZENIT St Petersburg will pose Liverpool FC a massive bigotry test, admits manager Brendan Rogers.