Van Gaal demands players adopt his hairstyle

LOUIS Van Gaal has ordered Manchester United’s players to have their hair cut exactly like his.

Gerrard retirement speech 'accidentally' ruined by Lampard

AN emotional speech confirming Steven Gerrard's retirement from England duty has been marred by loud praise from Frank Lampard.

McIlroy's dad puts £100,000 on him burning out by 30

GERRY McIlroy has bet the money he won on his son's Open victory on him never winning a major ever again.

Ozil still trying to get hands on World Cup

ARSENAL midfielder Mesut Ozil has not yet been able to touch the World Cup.

Van Gaal slates Ferguson’s wine cellar

MANCHESTER United's new boss Louis van Gaal has slammed the quality of the booze left behind by Sir Alex Ferguson.

Football confirmed as a team sport

WINNING at football requires eleven good players, experts have confirmed.

Relief as easily-stereotyped nation wins World Cup

FOOTBALL fans and pundits have expressed relief that World Cup discussion can focus on joyless efficiency.

Military defeat by Britain key to World Cup success

BEING beaten by Britain in a military conflict is the secret to winning the World Cup, it has been claimed.