Sport

Spurs seeking players whose names slot into Bob Dylan songs

TOTTENHAM chairman Daniel Levy has launched a worldwide search for any player named Roland Stone, Tom Bourineman or Des O'Lation-Rowe.

Souleymane S signs for Chelsea

THE French sales manager racially abused by Chelsea fans has been signed by the club.

Unpleasant foreigners ruin cricket again

FOREIGNERS have once again ruined cricket with their incessant showing-off, it has been confirmed.

Tyson Fury v Christian Hammer to be fought as a comic book

THE heavyweight fight between Tyson Fury and Christian Hammer will take place in comic book format, it has been announced.

Aston Villa offer to move to wherever new manager already lives

ASTON Villa have confirmed they are not expecting their new manager to move to Birmingham and are happy to go to him.

Giroud voted sexiest disappointment

OLIVIER Giroud has been named the hottest letdown in the Premier League.

'Pardew effect' found to be a placebo

TELLING clubs they are managed by Alan Pardew has the same effect as if he actually manages them, it has emerged.

Diego Costa knows song that will get on your nerves

CHELSEA striker Diego Costa knows a song that will get on your nerves and is happy to demonstrate how it goes.