Sport

Gerrard blamed for everything

STEVEN Gerrard is responsible not only for Liverpool’s poor start to the season but all war, disease and famine, it has been claimed.

Spurs takeover off after bidders watch them play

INVESTORS have withdrawn a bid for Tottenham Hotspur after seeing them in action.

Billionaire tycoon running Arsenal 'like a business'

AMERICAN investor Stan Kroenke is treating Arsenal like some sort of investment, according to angry fans.

American football fans given 24-hour amnesty

UK-BASED fans of American football are to be allowed to openly discuss the sport for one day.

Van Gaal calls for an end to numbers in football

LOUIS van Gaal has claimed that football must be freed from the shackles of maths.

Premier League managers call for autumn break

MANAGERS have demanded a six-week break for exhausted players who have been at it since as far back as August.

Royal and Ancient Golf Club lifts 260 year ban on Yardies

GOLF’S governing body has voted to open its doors to heavily armed Jamaican gangsters.

Chelsea to sign 'next Messi' the moment he's born

CHELSEA is to pounce for a Romanian labelled ‘the next Lionel Messi’ as soon as his umbilical cord is cut.