Sport
Horse-catapulting placates Grand National crowd
THE organisers of the Grand National have catapulted a horse into the side of a building to compensate for this year's lack of fatalities.
Kim Jong Un to manage Carlisle United
CARLISLE United has installed North Korean tactical genius Kim Jong Un as manager.
Formula One launches race unfixing probe
F1 BOSSES have launched an investigation after a race somehow became unfixed.
Ferdinand in hair appointment clash
RIO Ferdinand has pulled out of the England squad after a hairdressing appointment mix-up.
Rugby 'victory' was planned to make Wales feel good about itself
ENGLAND deliberately lost the Six Nations to Wales as part of a plan to boost the smaller country's morale, it has emerged.
Next Reading boss to be abstract concept
THE shortlist for the new Reading manager includes ennui, empathy and a sense of unfulfillable longing.
Cheltenham Festival crowds have absolutely no idea what is going on
THOUSANDS of Cheltenham attendees are discovering that horse racing is incomprehensible.