Sport

Fifa to monetize hooliganism

FOOTBALL violence has been repackaged by Fifa as an essential part of the game that fans must pay for, it has emerged.

Transfer saga concludes with transfer Ragnarok

THE protracted tale of Christian Benteke's move to Liverpool has ended with the death of the transfer gods and the immersion of the world in water.

Tour de France reaches infamous wine tasting stage

A THIRD of riders in the Tour de France are missing after the gruelling wine-and-cheese stage of the race.

Ranieri being very vague about new job, say friends

EX-CHELSEA boss Claudio Ranieri is being unusually evasive when asked which team he will be managing next season.

Manchester police hunt Northern Irish con artist

POLICE in Manchester have warned football managers to be vigilant following a daring swindle yesterday. 

Joe Root bidding to become that one cricketer you’ve heard of

ENGLAND batsman Joe Root is making an audacious bid to be recognisable to normal people.

Sterling’s sick note actually bank statement

LIVERPOOL star Raheem Sterling has presented the club with documentation of his bank balance to excuse his absence from training.

We’ve all f**ked up at some point, Britain tells Bassett

BRITONS are confessing their cock-ups in a show of solidarity with footballer Laura Bassett.