Sport
Murray immortalised as footnote in world's most boring rivalry
ANDY Murray will be remembered as the guy Rafael Nadal usually beat before he beat Roger Federer in the French Open final, it was confirmed last night.
Olympic ticket applicants receive first set of clues
OLYMPICS ticket applicants have been posted an elliptic set of messages that will eventually reveal what sport they will be watching.
Poirot asked to uncover significance of Fifa corruption thing
HERCULE Poirot has been asked to deduce why that thing in the news about Fifa matters in the slightest.
Capello sends Owen highlights DVD
FABIO Capello has responded to Michael Owen questioning his exile from the England squad by burning him a DVD of the last five years of his career.
Relegations fail to reduce football
TEAMS relegated on the final day of the Premier League season will only be replaced by different ones, it has emerged.
Brian Sewell's guide to the relegation battle
WITH the Premier League season about to climax over the nation's grateful
visage, one's thoughts turn to those for whomst shame and sorrow will
become constant companions.
Olympic flame to terrify Wales
WALES is to come face to face with fire on a stick.
It's a right old pram-and-elbow, say West Ham fans
WEST Ham supporters have admitted that the entire season has been a proper roast tomato.