Sport

John Terry lifts world gloom

PEOPLE from across the world came together last night to celebrate and give thanks to John Terry for retiring from international football.

Liverpool match to be played on Xbox

LIVERPOOL’S weekend match against Man Utd will be contested on FIFA 12 in a bid to avoid crowd trouble, it has been confirmed.

Villas-Boas allowed to drink with grown-ups

TOTTENHAM Hotspur manager Andre Villas Boas has been allowed into the White Hart Lane bar as a special treat.

De Niro admits he’s Ricky Hatton

ROBERT De Niro has been playing the fictional boxer Ricky Hatton for the last fifteen years.

Assange seeks asylum in Manchester United penalty box

WIKILEAKS founder Julian Assange has escaped the Ecuadorian Embassy, fleeing to the penalty box on the Old Trafford pitch.

Owen 'can't wait to find out who Stoke City are'

STOKE City's signing Michael Owen has said that his number one priority right now is to find Stoke on a map.

Wenger to sign 16-year-old manager

ARSENE Wenger has refused to sign a new long-term contract with Arsenal, insisting he can find a cheaper, younger version of himself.

Tennis not for 'poofs' after all, says Scotland

SCOTLAND has revised its opinion of whether tennis is for 'poofs', it has emerged.