Wales dreaming of nearly qualifying for Euro 2016

WELSH footballers are hoping to only just miss out on Euro 2016, it has emerged.

Five-man England beats ten-man Estonia

ENGLAND beat a depleted Estonia yesterday despite only having five decent players.

Rugby union afraid of rugby league

RUGBY union players live in constant fear of encountering their league counterparts, it has emerged.

Rooney is England's dysfunctional father figure

WAYNE Rooney is the England squad's bitter and needy dad substitute, it has been confirmed.

San Marino blasted for playing ringer

ENGLAND football manager Roy Hodgson has attacked San Marino for sneaking a professional onto the field.

Premier League fantasising about moving abroad

THE Premier League is talking about upping sticks and starting a new life in America.

Police ban anti-San Marino demonstrations

FOOTBALL fans have been warned against mocking first century stonecutter Marinus of Arbe as England prepares to face San Marino.

I swim drunk all the time, says Phelps

SWIMMER Michael Phelps has admitted winning his Olympic medals while drunk on home-brewed hooch.