Sport

England Euro16 kit launch includes photo of team crying

THE England shirt for Euro 2016 has been unveiled with a photo-shoot of the players crying.

Futsal player talking about it as if it’s normal

A MAN has been casually mentioning his futsal league to confused colleagues.

Nobody sure who invited West Brom to Superleague talks

EUROPEAN football’s superpowers were surprised to find West Brom at their secret 'super league' meeting.

Rugby ‘can turn you into a bellend’

THE risks of rugby include getting a taste for moronic drinking games and trouser-dropping stunts, it has emerged.

Wenger quits to become tortoise

ARSENAL manager Arsene Wenger has given up football in order to become a tortoise, it has emerged.

Pellegrini tells City to shove their cup

MANUEL Pellegrini has confirmed that Manchester City can stick the League Cup up its backside.

Rooney sidelined with chronic awareness of futility of existence

WAYNE Rooney will be out of action for six weeks after he realised during training that all human endeavour is ultimately pointless.

Premier League discovers it was all about money after all

TOP footballers who pretended to love the Premier League only really wanted its money, broken-hearted chairmen have discovered.