Sport

Man not interested in random sport things

A MAN with no interest in random sport things like rowing, gymnastics and judo is mentally ill, friends and colleagues believe.

Mourinho to whip a naked Juan Mata through the streets of Salford 


JOSE Mourinho has given Juan Mata the day off so he can whip his naked body through the streets of Salford.

Proper Olympics finally start

SEVEN days after the opening ceremony, the Olympics will finally begin.

Fair-weather Leicester fan dreading start of season

A MAN who has been a die-hard Leicester City fan for nearly six months is not looking forward to the new Premier League season.

Olympics organisers admit green pool does smell a bit weird

THE Olympics swimming pool that has turned bright green also has a strangely familiar smell, officials have admitted.

Women’s beach volleyball not actually sexy unless you are weird

WATCHING highly skilled female athletes ruthlessly competing is not as sexy as has been claimed, men have finally realised.

Man tired because he stayed up watching ‘the swimming’

AN OFFICE worker is exhausted today because of watching something he describes as ‘the swimming’.

There is no ball, table tennis players admit

INTERNATIONAL table tennis players have confessed that there have been no balls involved at the sport’s top level for 30 years.