Sport

Hodgson to name grandson in England squad

FRESHLY-CONDEMNED England manager Roy Hodgson is to name a Euro 2012 squad of 23 players including young Sarah’s lad.

Clubs rush to sign ex­-Fiorentina manager's fists

SEVERAL Premier League chairmen have expressed an interest in manager Delio Rossi's player-punching talents.

Manchester prepares for influx of bullshit

AUTHORITIES in Manchester have warned of an unprecedented level of bollocks.

Hodgson hits rock bottom

THE wretched life of Roy Hodgson has finally hit rock bottom with his appointment as England manager.

Ferguson and Mancini to hold derby on the astral plane

NEXT week's Manchester derby has been cancelled in favour of a titanic psychic battle between the two managers.

Even Chelsea fans a bit disappointed

CHELSEA fans last night admitted they had been looking forward to a Barcelona-Real Madrid Champions League final.

Ecclestone unveils Auschwitz grand prix

BERNIE Ecclestone has unveiled plans for a Formula One car pointing session through the grounds of Auschwitz.

Norwich fan to be burned as witch

TEENAGE Norwich City fan Chris Brown is to be burned at the stake for dabbling in the dark arts of electricity.