PAOLO Di Canio has declared himself Sunderland manager-for-life following a brutal coup.
WAYNE Rooney has questioned the nature of existence following a Champions League game.
FOOTBALL pundit Jamie Carragher has insisted The Godfather Part III is the best film in the epic 'trilogy'.
GARETH Bale has repaid his new owners Real Madrid by scoring an incredible 85,000,001 goals in his first game for the club.
RESEARCHERS have found that completely ignoring football is significantly cheaper than paying attention to it.
THE England football team has admitted that a fierce sense of national pride is only good for about three-quarters of an hour.
THE 2020 Olympic Games in Tokyo will test athletes to their physical limits by including High Rollers, Bridge Ball, and Skipping Stones.
INSURERS have banned Carlo Ancelotti from picking Gareth Bale in case he gets broken.