DAVID Moyes is being fired so hard he will have to take on two full-time jobs just to be unemployed.
SIR Alex Ferguson is to auction off his extensive collection of human skulls.
MATCH of the Day pundit Alan Hansen has insisted that a team will win the Premier League.
SUNDAY’S Liverpool-City game has Manchester United fans agonising about who they least want to win the title.
GOLF’S famous green jacket is absolutely desperate to feel the warmth of a woman’s body, it has emerged.
GOD has admitted being tempted to step in to keep Sunderland in the Premier League.
BOARD members at Tottenham Hotspur are still arguing over who has to tell Tim Sherwood he's fired.
GRAND National winner Pineau De Re is the result of an evil doctor's experiments injecting horse DNA into patients, it has emerged.