Kinnear unable to get any signatures on leaving card

JOE Kinnear has left St James’ Park for the last time with a blank farewell card.

Imagine he wrestled, Bryan fans told

DISAPPOINTED Daniel Bryan fans have been told to pretend he turned up at Sunday's Royal Rumble.

Juan Mata joins rat-infested ghost ship

CHELSEA midfielder Juan Mata has been sold to an eerie crewless ship.

United fans pool resources to throw season ticket onto pitch

A CONSORTIUM of United fans has bought a season ticket to throw onto the pitch in protest against David Moyes.

Neville arrested outside Moyes house with gun

GARY Neville as been arrested for attempting to scale David Moyes's garden fence while carrying a gun.

Football clubs urged to panic buy early

FOOTBALL clubs are being advised to get their ill-advised transfer window panic buys in early before the rush.

Maybe try scoring some goals, Fergie tells Moyes

DAVID Moyes has been advised by his predecessor to boost Manchester United's league position by getting more goals.

Allardyce losing wager on being sacked

SAM Allardyce is losing £20,000 a day after spread betting on when he will get fired.