DAVID Beckham has admitted that his tattoos are visual substitutes for his complete lack of any short-term memory.
THE FA has confirmed that as of 7pm last night, kicking Luis Suarez is no longer a punishable offence.
WEST Bromwich Albion are confident that changing manager will transform them into a top four worldwide football club.
MANCHESTER United manager David Moyes said the team’s dismal form is the sort of thing that happens to him all the time.
ALL-CONQUERING glamour club Stoke City are now a mathematical certainty to win the Premier League.
ONE youth’s account of the novelty explosives trade that is ruining football.
ENGLAND manager Roy Hodgson has settled on a first eleven excuses for failure at next year's World Cup.
SUPPORTERS have applauded Liverpool’s return to comedic woefulness following yesterday’s defeat at Hull.