Sport
Woods Caddie Denies Clubs Smelled Of Skank
TIGER Woods' caddie has dismissed claims the golfer hid evidence of his numerous affairs inside his golf bag.
Liverpool Turn Corner Into Terrifying Alley Full Of Zombies
RAFAEL Benitez last night said Liverpool have turned their 16th corner of the season and that this time everything was going to be grand.
Rustenberg Spontaneously Bursts Into Flames
THE SOUTH African city of Rustenberg has destroyed itself just seconds after it was announced as being England’s base during next year's World Cup.
Transgressions Had Fabulous Tits, Says Woods
TIGER Woods yesterday confirmed there had been transgressions in his marriage, but insisted they all had magnificent charlies.
Woods Beats Nicklaus Record For Bizarre Car Crashes
TIGER Woods has fulfilled a lifelong dream after breaking Jack Nicklaus's record for really weird car crashes outside his house.
England World Cup Bid Endangered By England
ENGLAND'S 2018 World Cup bid could be undermined by the hellish, unremitting dreadfulness of everything in the country, it was claimed last night.
Wigan Chairman Installs Shark Tank
THE chairman of Wigan Athletic is to install a tank full of sharks under the home dressing room in a bid to sharpen his squad's competitive instincts.
Irish Poets To Immortalise World Cup Betrayal
AS a million emerald tears washed down the streets of Dublin last night, Ireland's poets set to work immortalising their nation's latest betrayal.