FOOTBALL fans are furious that matches are diverting attention away from the transfer market.
BIG Indifferent Land snatched victory over Small Inexplicably Angry Land at Wembley last night leading to indifference and anger.
QATAR plans to trigger an ice age to cool the Earth sufficiently for it to host the World Cup.
FOOTBALLER Luis Suarez has delivered an impassioned speech inspired by history's greatest orators.
WAYNE Rooney wants to move to Chelsea so that he can have ready access to a wider range of goods and services.
ENGLAND were sort of celebrating last night after they managed to retain the Ashes by not playing cricket.