Ferguson able to receive visitors

A DISTRAUGHT Alex Ferguson is slowly recovering from his attack of the vapours.

Bradford celebrates better season than Arsenal

BRADFORD City celebrated its 5-0 thrashing yesterday by comparing its season to Arsenal’s.

Liverpool's season written by Ken Loach

LIVERPOOL’S fairytale adventure in Europe was scripted by Ken Loach, the club has revealed.

Footballers may be intelligent enough to fix matches

FOOTBALLERS have become sentient enough to cheat properly, it has been claimed.

Government to apply its magic touch to football

ENGLISH football could soon be as impressive as everything else that is run by the government, it has emerged.

Liverpool defeat all part of plan, says Rodgers

BRENDAN Rodgers has confirmed that getting beaten by Oldham was exactly what he had intended.

Anyone with opinion on Eden Hazard to be kicked in the ribs

ANYONE pontificating on Eden Hazard will be kicked quite hard in the upper-torso, it has been confirmed.