WALES is to come face to face with fire on a stick.
WEST Ham supporters have admitted that the entire season has been a proper roast tomato.
CELTIC manager Neil Lennon was recovering last night after a frenzied goose attack.
MANCHESTER United can nearly claim to be the least incompetent team of the year.
MANCHESTER United have confirmed that their £1 ticket price increase was
a calculated move based solely on their insatiable desire to annoy.
KENNY Dalglish has confirmed that Andy Carroll is still not a certainty to face a sea of confused-feeling Geordies this Sunday.
ARSENE Wenger has said he has always admired the voluptuous curves of the phrase '3rd place'.
SCOTTISH football's premier league is to award three points for a successful bombing campaign.