Kim Jong Un to manage Carlisle United

CARLISLE United has installed North Korean tactical genius Kim Jong Un as manager.

Formula One launches race unfixing probe

F1 BOSSES have launched an investigation after a race somehow became unfixed.

Ferdinand in hair appointment clash

RIO Ferdinand has pulled out of the England squad after a hairdressing appointment mix-up.

Rugby 'victory' was planned to make Wales feel good about itself

ENGLAND deliberately lost to Wales as part of a plan to boost the smaller country's morale, it has emerged.

Next Reading boss to be abstract concept

THE shortlist for the new Reading manager includes ennui, empathy and a sense of unfulfillable longing.

Cheltenham Festival crowds have absolutely no idea what is going on

THOUSANDS of Cheltenham attendees are discovering that horse racing is incomprehensible.

Ferguson able to receive visitors

A DISTRAUGHT Alex Ferguson is slowly recovering from his attack of the vapours.