DAVID Beckham is fighting to save his reputation after claims he has been to bed with his pointy wife.
DIRECTORS at Liverpool FC have booked Roy Hodgson a special holiday to Switzerland to thank him for all his hard work.
UNDER-fire managers have issued stark ultimatums to their boards as the giant face of Rafael Benitez loomed over the horizon.
AND so Samuel AllardicÃ© is cast into the stygian abyss of failed Blackburn Rovers allenatori. But which new Theseus will come forth to slay the Minotaur that is the fair red rose of Lancashire's unfulfilled desires?
BLACKBURN Rovers have confirmed that Sam Allardyce will return to his post as regional sales executive for Ossett Windows.
MANCHESTER City cheese-before-bedtime nightmare Carlos Tevez has rocked fans by asking for a larger pen.
AUSTRALIA is to recall booze, strippers and late night hotel carnage to its humiliated Ashes squad.