LONDON police are urging people not to travel to the newly-opened Olympic Velodrome amid overcrowding fears.
ARSENE Wenger has refused to comment on Arsenal's draw against Leyton Orient, claiming not to have seen any of it.
TICKET prices for the Champion's League final are fresh evidence that the people who run football think the fans might be a bit stupid, it emerged last night.
LONDON'S Olympic stadium will be transformed into the nation's finest car boot sale venue after the 2012 games.
WAYNE Rooney's right foot is being studied by theologians after his overhead kick impregnated a 58 year-old woman from Guildford.
FABIO Capello declared himself ambivalent toward the display the side he
would prefer not to pick gave against Denmark last night.
THE world's newest nation celebrated its birth last night with a 4-1 victory over Scotland.
FERNANDO Torres' £50m transfer fee was clearly adjusted to allow for inflation, Chelsea insisted last night.