Sport

Gareth Bale finally able to afford haircut

GARETH Bale's new contract will finally allow him to do something about his hair.

Sky Sports wins rights to Great British Bake Off

THE next series of Great British Bake Off will be part of Sky Sports' roster of ultra-hyped events.

International football 'complete waste of time if you think about it'

THE World Cup 2018 qualifiers have been marred by a nagging awareness that there’s absolutely no point in playing them.

Allardyce bemoans the quality of chips in Slovakia

SAM Allardyce has complained to the FA about the lack of chip barms in Slovakia.

Twenty per cent of UK workforce on loan from Chelsea FC

ONE in five British workers are on loan to their current job from Chelsea FC, it has emerged.

Premier League chairman wakes up wondering who the f**k he bought last night

A PREMIER League chairman has woken up in the boardroom with vague memories of going on a transfer binge late last night.

Goalkeeper at five-a-side looks suspiciously like Joe Hart

THE opposition goalkeeper in a Goals five-a-side league match near Manchester looks a lot like Joe Hart, players have reported.

Audience at darts tournament have no idea there's a darts tournament going on

THE MAJORITY of the crowd at the Perth Masters darts tournament have no idea that there is a darts tournament being played, they have confirmed.